


Bilbo and Dwalin

by Judayre



Series: Pair and Gender Challenge [1]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Gender binary is for wimps, Other, tagged in chapters, writing challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-21
Updated: 2014-01-20
Packaged: 2018-01-09 11:45:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1145580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Judayre/pseuds/Judayre
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>4 shorts from 4 different worlds where Bilbo and Dwalin interact.  With an amazingly original title.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Explanation

**Author's Note:**

> I am kind of terrified to post this and am forcing myself to do it before fleeing to bed. I am not expecting flames, but I don't think i would be surprised by them.

I write to make sense of the world. I realize that doesn't necessarily make sense when writing fantasy, but trust me about this. Fantasy is one of the best ways to make sense of anything. I write for myself, and hope that others can enjoy it as well, but the primary audience I write for is _me_.

When I notice that I'm falling into habits in my writing, I do things to challenge myself. The short prompts is one way - forcing myself to write every day no matter what, and with a prompt that is chosen at random and I cannot change (with a few exceptions, because there are exceptions to everything). This series is a double challenge for me.

The first part is characters. It is easy to fall into writing the same characters over and over. But that means I become complacent with my writing. What's the point of doing it if I'm not changing and getting better? I have a spreadsheet with every possible combination of two characters and I intend to write about every pair of them. (Or perhaps not - my list is 29 characters long, so the number of pairings is significantly over 400.)

You can expect many type a of relationships: sexual, romantic, family, friend, casual acquaintance, rivals, first meetings. Many times, there will be overlap. But there will be no incest - I do not write it.

The other part of the challenge is actually the more challenging part. I write - and in reading I have become increasingly aware of this - within the idea of gender binary. This bothers me, because gender is not binary and it's taking the easy way out to let myself always fall into that.

To that end, there will be 4 shorts for each pair. 1: both characters are cis the canon gender representation. 2 & 3: each character will be something else. 4: both characters will be something else.

That something else might be: cis male or female, trans male or female, agender, bigender, gender fluid, something else entirely. Among other things this means that there might be mpreg because there will be m who can preg.

I am cis female. I completely expect that I will mess up. _Please, when I do, call me on it._ Tell me I'm wrong and correct me. I want to expend my abilities in a way that is respectful. This is scary for me. Leaving your safe place always is, but I don't want to live my life only in a safe spot where I wrap myself in cotton wool and pretend that nothing outside of my experience exists. It is a foolish and xenocentric way to live and I refuse to.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cuddles don't make everyone better anymore, but they help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter goes with After Escape. I imagine most of the cis chapters will connect to something I've already written because I have it already.
> 
>  **Warning** for canon character death and grief.

Dwalin couldn't stay in Erebor. Not after everything. It was the home he'd spent his life pining for, but it wasn't his home without Thorin. It wasn't his home if it took the death of Fíli and Kíli to gain it.

He went to the Shire with Bilbo - to protect him in the journey - and could find no reason to leave. Hobbits were kind, if not overly friendly, and he couldn't bring himself to set foot on the long road again. He chopped and hauled wood, he repaired pots and sharpened knives and scythes. He did anything he could to keep from thinking about what had been left behind.

It was late autumn, past Bilbo's birthday, and it occurred to Dwalin quite out of the blue that it was Durin's Day. His breath stopped in his throat and he dropped like a brick into the armchair by the fire that had become his in the months he had lived in the Shire. He stared blankly into the fire, not even considering his lack of breath until Bilbo approached and put a hand gently on his shoulder.

He looked up, unsure what grief was in his eyes, but Bilbo would understand. Bilbo had been there, he knew what had been lost. And indeed, there was answering sadness in the Hobbit's eyes.

Bilbo pressed one small hand to Dwalin's cheek and bent close to touch their foreheads together, voice lowering to match the intimacy. "You must breathe, Dwalin. Open your lungs and let the air in."

He unthinkingly obeyed, feeling his body flood with air.

"Good, and now out."

The air whooshed out again, fast and shaky and completely out of his own control. But Bilbo was there, crouched in front of him and quietly reminding him how to breathe as he'd been quietly reminding him how to live for months.

Dwalin reached out, wrapping both hands around Bilbo's shoulders and pressing closer into the touch of their heads. His breath shook as he followed Bilbo's instructions to inhale and exhale.

Once he could breathe on his own, Bilbo's voice quieted and for a long moment the only sound was the breath they shared. Then Bilbo tipped his face and dropped a kiss on Dwalin's whiskery cheek.

"The greatest treasures of Erebor weren't the gold and jewels," he murmured.

Dwalin pulled him closer, still dry eyed, and they sat in one another's arms and breathed together through the evening.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dwalin returns to Bree.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise to not always use Boarding for the Bilbo chapters. However, that is what is going on in this chapter.

"Dwalin!"

He had time to reflect that he couldn't remember the last time someone had greeted him with as much pleasure before Bell took his arm and drew him into the boarding house. He left his pack near the door and followed her through to the kitchen.

"You're just in time for tea. Sit! I have some of the fruit and nut cookies you like, and I'll put together some sandwiches quick as you like."

The Dwarf couldn't get a word in edgewise, so he sat with a bemused smile. Bell chattered at him as she bustled around the kitchen. She pulled out a second place setting for him, and the sandwiches were just as quick as she promised. The tea was already in the kettle, a knitted cosy keeping it warm as she quickly created a meal he was certain she wouldn't have had if alone.

And every time she glanced over at him her face lit up. She was positively beaming at him by the time she joined him at the table and poured the tea. He had lived in her home for a week some months earlier. He had terrified her on first acquaintance. He was baffled by her regard.

"And you're back in time for the wedding," Bell finally concluded. "Thorin will be pleased."

"Then it's true? Balin just sent me a letter that Thorin had gone mad and I had to do something about it." She tensed, eyes widening with hurt and he silently cursed himself. "Lass, Balin has never met you. He's not to know what a good thing this is."

"No," she agreed softly. "No, I suppose it would seem sudden...."

He reached out, one big hand laying over hers. "Lass," he said again. And what to say now? She had been so pleased until he opened his mouth. The story of his life, but now how to fix what he had done? "It only seems sudden to those who have no sense or don't know you. You are the best thing to happen to Thorin, I know it."

And that was the right thing to say. She turned her eyes back up to him, damp with tears but once again smiling. "I have missed you, Dwalin. I'm so glad you're home and safe."

He was struck dumb by each part in turn. _Home_. No place had been home since a dragon destroyed Erebor, but this little boarding house was the closest he had come. And she thought of it as his home, after knowing him for only a week.

 _She had missed him_. Surely he had given her little enough reason. He was loud and Balin said he was uncouth often enough that the idea had stuck. But she was glad to see him. Gladder than he could remember seeing even on the face of his own brother.

So he smiled in return and swiped a thumb under her eye to forestall any waterworks. "And I'm glad to be back," he told her, and was treated to his very own ray of sunshine in the form of her smile.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo thinks he has figured something out. He hasn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warning** for transphobic language and Bilbo being a dick.

"Dwalin," Bilbo said tightly after half dragging the bemused Dwarf away from the others. "This has gone far enough."

"I'm sure we have, burglar," the Dwarf answered, raising a brow.

"You know what I mean," Bilbo snapped, arms crossed. "I admit it was probably naive of me, but that doesn't mean I'm not angry at you for taking it this far."

"Taking _what_ this far?" Dwalin asked, crossing her own arms. She was used to being snapped at - Balin and Thorin did it all the time - but usually she knew what it was about.

Bilbo threw his hands up in the air as though she was being purposefully dense. "You're not a woman. 'Dwarf women have beards just as men do. All Dwarves have low voices.' The things we use to justify childish pranks! I'd have expected it from Fíli or Kíli, but not from you."

Dwalin stilled, and only the fact that her arms were already crossed kept her from murdering the Hobbit. "You are mistaken," she said in a deceptively calm tone, voice lowering almost to a growl.

"We all bathed together coming down off the Carrock," Bilbo pointed out. "Horrible impropriety for a woman to bathe naked with men. But it doesn't matter because _you are a man_."

Dwalin took several deep breaths because she _could not kill the burglar_. Balin would be so upset with her and Thorin would sulk more than usual. "Burglar," she said when she finally trusted her voice. "Do not make the mistake of thinking Dwarves to be like Men or Elves or Hobbits. We are not. Whether or not you understand it, it is not about you. It is about me, and you can tell me no truths about myself that I do not know. Do not presume that you know me better than I know myself. If I tell you I am a woman, I expect to be respected."

"Dwalin--"

"No," she said sharply, always short temper used up. "Do not say something you will regret, because if I read the look in your eyes right you will regret it."

She had to walk away then. There was no way he would listen to her - men like him rarely did. And it was not her responsibility to make him understand. He didn't need to understand as far as she was concerned. He only needed to be polite. And if he was not (and men like him rarely were), she was under no obligation to be polite back. It was nowhere in his contract that he would be treated with more respect than he showed.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo meets his first Dwarf.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warning** for internalized transphobia, misgendering! and someone being outed against their wishes.

The Dwarf at the bar was breathtakingly large, with firm, strong, muscular arms, tattoos, and a short beard. Bilbo couldn't stop looking. It was so exotic and different from the Hobbits he sometimes made eyes at. And then the Dwarf turned and Bilbo was the subject of a long, thorough look. He squirmed, dropping his eyes and then looking up again.

The Dwarf was smiling at him, eyes warm and appreciative. Bilbo's breath caught and he smiled back.

But then Leo Chubb clunked down the Dwarf's order and leaned close to whisper. Bilbo's eyes dropped again, his smile disappearing as if it had never existed. He knew what was being said.

 _Breasts under the shirt and braces._ Yes, and how he tried to flatten them.

 _No cock inside the trousers._ If he could change where his flesh was....

_**Bilberry** Baggins was a horrible **daughter** to her parents' memories._

And his own drink turned to ash as he took a long draught, reminded once again why he was a recluse who left Bag End so seldom that the children sometimes made games of knocking on his door and seeing if he was still there.

"Well, little man!"

Bilbo looked up, eyes wide, to see the Dwarf drop into the seat across from him.

"I see you like the looks of a good beard, which shows you as a man of great discernment."

Not the beard so much, Bilbo considered, watching the Dwarf take a pull of ale. The way muscles worked was breathtaking, though, and what he could see of the glide of the throat.

Still.... His eyes darted to the bar and he saw slack jawed surprise on the face of Leo Chubb. "Didn't he tell you...?" he asked softly. He wasn't used to being approached after being explained.

The Dwarf had a look almost of pity. "Aye, he spoke. Nonsense is what it was. Dwarves understand that the shape has nothing to do with what makes a man or woman."

You couldn't tell by looking? "Which are you?" Bilbo asked curiously.

"Neither," the Dwarf said calmly, drinking again, as though that had made sense.

"Neither? How does that work? You're one or the other." And if you were Bilbo Baggins, you claimed to be the wrong one.

"Are you?" the Dwarf asked, lowering his mug. "It's not about your body. You know that already. It's a feeling that you have that you are something. And I am neither."

"But what do people call you?"

"Dwalin, usually," the Dwarf laughed.

Bilbo shook his head, waving that explanation aside. "Your _children_."

At Bilbo's persistence, Dwalin's smile slowly died. "Should I be blessed with children, I hope they would be proud to call me their parent."

It was so frustrating! I was like the Dwarf was being deliberately obtuse. "But what--" Bilbo started, but his voice squeaked to a halt. _But what does your body look like?_ As though he were one of the people who trotted the line out as if it meant everything. As though he were one of his own tormentors.

And Dwalin seemed to understand and was smiling again, a small, understanding one. "Dwarves understand these things, lad."

Bilbo bit his lip. "I make an excellent trifle, if I say it myself," he said hesitantly. "I would like to hear more about this, if you would be willing?"

"Now that sounds like an excellent idea," Dwalin said with a smile, clunking the empty mug onto the table.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I Think Bilbo is around 45 in this one and has been alone for 2-3 years.
> 
> ...There might be continuations of this 'verse in other shorts in this series.


End file.
